Building a Family

All my life I knew I wanted to be a mom. I played dolls long after most girls have stopped and babysat as soon as I was old enough. When I met my husband in 1998 he was honest from the beginning that having kids the traditional way was not possible due to the chemo he had to have to cure his germ-cell lung cancer. Since I am adopted it was not an issue we would just adopt(I had always planned to in addition to having birth children)
My husband and I were married in 2004 and about a year later moved into a nice first floor apt with a yard. The following year we both ended up with stable jobs and decided to look into adoption. We explored our options and chose to go through Ma DCFS. After filling out some paper work and going to our first meeting we began what we believed would be a long wait. Little did we know it would all fall in place in a little over six months.
At the time I was currently working at a daycare center and we had a family who did foster care. They had a sibling pair placed with them, a nineteen month old boy and a six year old girl. The moment they walked into the daycare I fell in love. It had been an emergency placement and very little background was known. The little girl walked in with a hand-me-down lunchbox and bag. She had the longest thickest dark brown hair and big brown eyes.( There was an exotic look to her features and we would later find out that her birth father was from India) She just seemed lost and sad. She introduced herself and told me about her brother and then became my shadow. She followed me everywhere asking questions and wanting to help. She even fell asleep next to me at nap.
Later in the day I met her brother who I picked up over the toddler gate. He put his head down on my shoulder and would not let me put him down. He was tiny for almost two and more infant than toddler. He had unkempt long brown hair and the same sad big brown eyes. From that moment on something clicked and I just knew there was something special about these two kids.
Later in the week the foster dad made a joke about us adopting the kids but we never talked about it again. Throughout the summer and fall they continued to stay on my mind and after babysitting one weekend for them I asked if they were up for adoption and at that time they were not. They were supposed to be split up and placed with random members of their birth family. We went on with our own adoption process filling out our home study and taking our MAPP class. We knew we had made the right decision in choosing adoption and now we would wait and see who DCFS matched us with.
Around Christmas the foster family gave us some hopeful news. The family that was supposed to take the boy and girl backed out and they were being placed up for adoption together. We also found out that there was a sister who was 3 who lived with the paternal grandparents. We then let the social workers know we were willing to adopt all three.
It took until April for anyone to get back to us with concrete news but in the meantime we continued to babysit for then 2 children fairly regularly. We had bonded and they had even started calling us mom and dad. After finally meeting with their worker official visits were scheduled and the kids were told that they were going to be adopted. The sister would stay with the grandparents but was they were willing to keep in contact (we would later find out no one ever told the grandparents about us being willing to adopt all three, but that is another story.)
In June the children we allowed to finally move in with us and we finalized their adoption a little over a year later. Working at a daycare does not prepare you for parenting but we have not only survived but thrived.
Today my daughter is 12 and my son is 7. We have since began to share time caring for the sister and she pretty much lives with us full time. She is now nine and I could not imagine life with out her. A lot has changed over these six years since I first met the kiddos but I would not change a thing.


2 thoughts on “Building a Family

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s